The first-of-its-kind poker Slap-ellite has been announced by four poker players, including Tony G, Rob Yong, Faraz Jaka and Phil Nagy. In the modified version of the summer TikTok craze, contestants fill their mouths with water and slap each other with flour until one contestant can no longer hold their water.
Outside of using a series of terrible puns or stumbling through an argument meant to explain how this is all normal, there is no way to say this other than just saying it.
Some extremely affluent poker players intend to smack each other in the face with flour tortillas. Of course, they are doing this for money that would cause most people to flush more intensely than a tortilla slap.
The first-of-its-kind poker Slap-ellite was announced late Friday on the island nation of Cyprus by well-known poker high rollers Tony G, Rob Yong, Faraz Jaka, and Phil Nagy. Four grown adult men are going to compete in a contest of brute force, iron will, cool composure, and unleavened flatbread.
A modified version of the summer TikTok craze in which contestants fill their mouths with water and slap each other with tortillas until one contestant can no longer hold their water, is what the Luxon Pay MPP Tortilla Slap-ellite sets the four players against each other in. The challenge started as a kind of 1970s Newlywed Game with social media insanity between romantic couples. Hollywood stars were eating each other’s food before the end of the summer.
The four steel-faced poker players in question have traveled with the rest of the high-rolling circuit to Cyprus, where a series of professional poker tournaments is already underway. As will happen from time to time at a tournament, grown adult men decided they needed more action and came up with the Slap-ellite.
Satellites are less expensive poker tournaments where players compete to win their way into higher-dollar events. The winner of the Slap-ellite will get an entry into a $10,000 high roller tournament. The man who can hold water in his mouth the longest while getting repeatedly slapped with a burrito will have the chance to win hundreds of thousands of dollars. Everything is completely normal.
While it may be tempting to shake fists at the clouds and order the kids off our worn-out old man lawns, it is important to keep in mind that this Slap-ellite is merely the most recent example of a longstanding tradition of criminals’ quick wit.
No one wants to compete in an event of such prestige without rules, so negotiations over the rules and the potential addition of contestants are expected to continue until the event begins Saturday.
That wouldn’t be appropriate.